英文论文汇报讲稿

英文论文汇报讲稿（推荐6篇）

英文论文汇报讲稿 篇1

for placement

Student Name:Student No.:

Programme of Study:Year of Study:

Placement Organization:

Supervisor at Work(Name and Title):

Period of Placement(covered in this report):to

Mentor:

 The learning journal aims to help students collect, organize and reflect their placement experiences. Students are encouraged to develop the journal as a portfolio for career development purpose. Students are encouraged to include photos, diagrams and charts if necessary when writing the journal.

1.Before Placement

1.1 Company Background

-Its vision, mission, core business, management philosophy etc.-Specific features of its product/service.-Its key customers and competitors

1.2 Goal Setting

2010/04

-What are my learning objectives?(e.g.gain practical experience, enhance interpersonal skills, improve time management etc)

-How can I achieve my learning objectives?

2.During Placement

2.1 What is the structure of my section/department and its relationship with other departments and the whole company?

2.2 What are my major duties and responsibilities?

2.3 Record what you have done and learned during the placement period.2.4 Working with Colleagues

-What have I learned from my supervisor?

-What are the difficulties working with my supervisor?What have I done to overcome these problems?

-How am I getting along with my colleagues?

-How effective is my communication at work?

-How cooperative am I as a team player?

3.Planning Forward

英文演讲稿 篇2

Man’slifeisaproceofgrowingup,actuallyI’mstandinghereisagrowth.Ifaperson’slifemustcotitutedbyvariouschoices,thenIgrowupalongwiththesechoices.OnceIhopeIcanstudyinacollegeinfuture,howeverthat’

spaed,asyouknowIcomehere,nowIwonderwhatthefutureholdsfor(=whatwillhaento)me.WhenIcometothisschool,Itoldtomyself:thismynearfuture,allstartshere.FollowingIwilllearntobecomeaman,aintegratedman,whohasafinebody,cantakeonimportanttask,hasindependentthought,anopenmind,inteivethought,hastheabilitytojudgerightandwrong,hasaperfectjob.Oncemyteachersaid:”youarenotsewing,youarestylist;neverforgetwhichyoushouldlayouttopeopleisyourthought,notcraft.”Iwillputmypersonalitywithmyinterestandabilityintomystudy,duringtheseproceIwillcombinelearningwithdoing.IfIcanachievethis“future”,IthinkthatIreallygrowup.AndIdeeplybelievekindred,good-fellowshipandlovewillperfectionandhayinthefuture.Howtosayfuture?Maybeit’sanicewish.Letsmakeupourminds,sticktoitandsurelywellenjoyourlife.

英文演讲稿 篇3

And the ending is always the same, finishing with the line ”And they live happily every after.“

Why arent we tired of something so fanciful, so unrealistic, and, I would say, so unimaginative? How can a story like that endure generations of repetition`? Because, I think, it is a typical success story. It is highly philosophical and symbolic. By implication, we see a 4-step definition of success: 1 ) a goal to be set. as represented by the beautiful princess; 2 ) challenges to be met, as represented by the three tasks; 3 ) the process of surmounting difficulties, as represented by the ordeals the youth goes through; and 4 ) the reward of success, as represented by the happy marriage.

The story not only caters to everyones inward yearning for success, but also emphasizes the inseparability of the process and the result. The reward of success will be much amplified if the path leading towards it is treacherous, and vice versa. If a person inherits his fathers millions and leads an easy life, he is not a successful person even in material terms, because there are no difficulties involved in his achieving affluence. The term ”success“, to be sure. will not sit still for easy definition. But as I understand it, the true meaning of success entails a combination of both the process and the satisfactory result of an endeavor. To clarify my view, let me give another analogy.

If we changed the rules of football, greatly enlarged the goal and sent away David Seaman or any other goal keeper, so that another David, namely David Beckham, could score easily, then scoring would not give him the thrill of accomplishment and the joy that it brings. If we further changed the rules by not allowing Arsenals defenders to defend, so that Beckham needed only to lift a finger, actually a toe, to score, then there would be no game at all, because the meaning of winning would have disappeared. In accepting the challenge, in surmounting the difficulties and in enduring the hardship, success acquires its value. The sense of attainment varies in proportion to the degree of difficulties on overcomes.

The concept of success is not constant but relative because the nature of difficulty is also relative. Something you do effortlessly might pose a great difficulty for a handicapped person. In acquiring the ability to do the same as you can, he or she achieve success. Thats why we greatly admire Stephen Hawking, because, though confined to a wheel chair, he has contributed greatly to the field of science.

I myself, a rather shy person by nature who easily suffer from stage fright, had to pluck up great courage to take part in a speech contest like this. I could have stayed away and had an easy time of it by not entering the university level contest.But I chose to accept the challenge and to face the difficulties. Now here I am. If I come out first, it will be a great success for me. If I come out last-I hope this will not be the case-but if I come out last, I will not call my attempt a failure, but will also celebrate it as a true success, because part of my goal is my own character training-to do more assertive, to be brave in face of difficulties. For me, it is a meaningful step forward, small as it is, in the long journey toward the final success in my life, because I have truly gained by participating.

盛兴中英文学校德育工作汇报 篇4

一、工作概述

1、一条清晰的思路

学校工作思路——目标引领，观念开道，数据说话，措施破解，行动加油，业绩证明。德育工作思路——德育为首，科学定位；整合资源，强化队伍；活动丰富，主题鲜明；前瞻后思，不断提高。

实现途径——转观念、修制度、抓队伍、强责任、细分工、明奖惩、倡反思、重行动。

2、两个有力的保证（1）、依法治校

我们利用多种途径，以教师集中学习和自学相结合的方式，先后学习了《中小学生人身伤害事故预防与处理条例》等多部法律法规，日常工作中，我们处处严格依法办事，也经常请我校的法制副校长和消防中队的有关人员到我校开展法制教育活动。省市有关领导先后到我校检查依法治校工作，均给予高度评价，我校也因此被国家教育部表彰为全国安全文明学校。

（2）、以德治教

我们利用一切机会和途径采取适当方式对学生进行思想教育。无论是雪灾、汶川地震、奥运会、文明城市创建、全面小康社会创建、教育现代化创建，还是广州亚运会和亚残会等，我们充分地利用了这些契机，对全体学生进行了“扬盛兴精神，做盛兴主人”的活动取得很好效果。

3、三个有效的抓手

（1）、抓实常规管理，重过程。

我校坚持每周一次主题班会、每一周一次班主任会议和年级主任会议，分析学情和班情，探讨有效的工作方法，反思教训，研究对策，规范了班主任的教育教学行为，取得了良好的工作效果。

（2）、抓活特色建设，重特长。

学生自主管理教育进校园工作是我校德育工作的特色，从04年我校开展此项活动以来，取得了良好的成效。事实证明，对学生进行守法守纪、公平公正、感恩诚信、节俭勤劳等廉洁品质的教育不仅有必要，而且对学校的教育教学工作也有很大的促进作用。

同时，我们也开设了具有特色的校本课程和特色科技活动，促进学生个性特长的发展。学校的篮球队、网页设计与制作、陶艺、电脑动画等兴趣小组多次在省市里获奖。

我们中学部特色一，晚演讲，锻炼学生的演讲口才和孩子的胆识；特色二，校园警察，锻炼孩子的正气，让孩子从小就要有勇于和社会不良现象做斗争，提高他们的管理才能；特色三，爱心天使，提高学生的综合素质，让学生从小就有为社会和他人有奉献和服务意识；特色四，星级学生，让学生从小明白做一名文明学生和优秀学生的重要性，让他们积极参加班级和学校的管理，特色五，校长助理，校长小助理在任期内将聆听、收集、整理同学提给学校的建议然后可以选择多种不同的渠道和方式将这些建议反馈给校长，特色

六、心灵氧吧，是一种“学生—学生”的同伴咨询模式和师生咨询模式，面向广大学生开展免费的心理健康教育与心理咨询工作。心灵氧吧坚持科学、安全、保密、贴心的原则，致力服务于全体在校学生，还有很多的特色不一一列举。

（3）、立德树人，生命奠基，写就大爱德育，是养成教育的根本目标。

坚持育人为本、德育为先，以立德树人为根本任务，以弘扬时代精神和民族精神为主旋律，以文明行为习惯和养成教育为抓手，以“培养好每一个孩子，让他们成为高素质的人”为目标，以开拓创新的精神，积极探索生命教育的途径和方法，形成了“三全四化”德育工作特色（即全员育人、全面育人、全程育人；自主化管理、系列化活动、多元化评价、特色化班级），使学校德育工作制度化、系列化、特色化、常态化。提出“以生为本，为学生一生的幸福和发展奠基”的办学理念，追求至善至美的教育境界，走进学生心灵，关爱生命成长，实现“让人成为有用的人”；从国际视野和本土文化的起点上，培养好每一个孩子，让他们成为志向高远、行为文明、气质优雅、身心健康、品质创新、学业扎实的高素质人。我们坚持开展理想信念教育、仁爱精神教育、感恩教育、诚信教育、民主法制教育、勤俭廉洁教育、民俗文化教育、节庆仪式教育、乡土国情教育、革命传统教育、传统美德教育、科技创新教育等主题教育，让学生在厚重的文化中涵养素质，让学生拥有更加开阔的视野，更加丰润的心灵，更加坚定的信念，过一种更有意义的生活。

二、民主自治，体现主体，培养组织才能，是养成教育的时代要求 学生民主自治。主体性人格的发展是人的全面发展的核心，“自己的事情自己管，自己的未来自己创”。新学期伊始，学生会通过竞职演讲，选举产生新一届的学生会及团委会。他们分工负责，责任明确，合作意识强，能自主地完成各项常规工作。如每周升旗、校园卫生的检查打分、学生纪律的监督、文明礼仪的监督等，都极大限度的发挥了学生主体性作用。我们实行值周班级制，每学期每班轮流值勤一周，涵盖了学校管理的各个层面，充分展示了学生参与学校管理的能动性。我们实行校广播站学生负责制，从制定计划，每月主题，每周重点，“美文欣赏”的选择，“每周一歌”的选定等，都由学生决定，这样增强了学生主人翁意识，自豪感、责任感同时被激发。学校还成立了爱心社团、绿地文学社、篮球队等社团，实行了社团自治，由学生们自主组织、自我策划、自我管理。我们鼓励学生走出校门，走进自然，了解社会，了解世界，拓展了学生的生活领域，开阔了学生的崭新视野，培养了他们的调查分析能力、自主探究能力、组织管理和领导能力，更培养了他们的国际意识和竞争能力，使学生树立了强烈的社会责任感。

班级自主管理。我校有多少个班级就有多少种风格，多少种班级文化。班主任开动脑筋，充分发挥学生主人翁作用。班会课主题自设，班级活动自主申报，班级活动丰富多彩。开学初，我们以组建班委为契机，让学生民主确定班名、班呼、班歌、班规、班风，形成班级文化。制定细则，学生以小组为单位，讨论研究，汇总成文，并提请家长谏言献策，共同商定，这是对学生权利的尊重，是大家共同参与的结果，使规则由外在的约束变为内在的认识，由他律变为自律的过程。学期中，我们以学生规范小报展评、学生规范大家谈为“抓手”，落实人人都是规范的管理者、践行者。我们就是这样将规范从每一个细节抓起，如：我们实行的诚信考试、作业超市、延迟评价等，都充分体现出对学生人格和权利的尊重。学期末，我们以班级民主商评、综合素质评价为内容，培养学生的“民主管理、诚实守信、崇善尚美”的良好品质。

三、尚善尚礼，强化规范，完善学生人格，是养成教育的核心内容 古人云：“不学礼无以立，人无礼则不生，事无礼则不成，国无礼则不宁。”文明礼仪不仅是立身之道，更是立国之本。尚善尚礼，待人以礼，是一个人思想道德水平、文化修养、教养、风度与魅力的集中体现。加强文明礼仪教育，培养学生优雅的气质和得体的仪表，是培养一个健全人的最基本的要求，是一个人的底色，是学校德育工作的核心内容。我校以“文明伴我成长”教育实践活动为“抓手”，引导学生牢固树立心中有祖国、心中有集体、心中有他人的意识，懂得为人做事的基本道理，具备文明生活的基本素养，学会处理人与人、人与社会、人与自然等基本关系。我们的具体做法是：

全员参与。活动以来，我们从教师、学生、家长的行为细节抓起，使我校“文明伴我成长”活动在校园、家庭、社区产生了深刻影响。每天开展监督活动，每项活动具体到每个班每个人。

特点切入。我们根据德育工作细、小、实、严的特点，从行为细节处，从生活细微处，规范行为，培养习惯，潜移默化地完善学生的人格。

行为内化。我们制订了详细的检查标准。

检查矫正。文明素质是一个人整体形象的外在表现，我们重点加强了对学生基本文明行为的矫正，做到周周有主题，有检查，有评价。体验升华。没有对当下的、即刻的、现实生活的关注和体悟，就不可能培养好学生的品行、见识和修养，因此，让学生在他们真实的生活中培养品德，形成习惯是德育的重要任务。

四、尊重差异，评价多元，培养阳光学子，是养成教育的重要保证

尊重差异，让每个孩子体验成功。我们尊重每一个学生的每一种发展潜能，激发他们的每一个发展方向，创新德育评价机制，突出评价的发展功能，用发展的眼光来看待孩子的每一点进步，实施“多元多级”评价。学生学期评优评先分为三类：全面发展、个性发展、进步成长，不仅评选“学习标兵”，还评选“专项标兵”、“校园之星”、“优秀校园警察”“一帮一先进个人”、“孝敬之星”等，让具有不同爱好、潜质的孩子都能得到赏识。在每年的书画比赛、学生综合实践等活动中，力争使每一位学生都有一项运动项目、一种艺术技能、一项科技小创意得到培养和展现，让学生在运动中得到快乐，在艺术中得到洗礼，在创新中得到发展。

青春,英文演讲稿 篇5

青春英语演讲稿[标签：演讲稿 英语]小学精华资讯 免费订阅 首先 我想问大家两个问题：

1、你知道青春是什么么？

2、你怎样主宰自己的青春？ 青春

青春不是指岁月，而是指心态。粉嫩的脸，红润的唇，矫健的膝并不是青春。青春表现在意志的坚强与懦弱。想象的丰富与苍白、情感的充沛与贫乏等方面。青春是生命深处清泉的喷涌。

青春是追求。只有当勇气盖过怯弱、进取压倒苟安之时，青春才存在。果如此，则60见之长者比20岁之少年更具青春活力。仅仅岁月的流逝并不能使他们衰老。而一旦抛弃理想和信念，则垂垂老也。

岁月只能使皮肤起皱。而一旦丧失生活的激情，则连灵魂枯老，使人生枯如死水，毫无活力。60岁长者也好，16岁少年也罢，每个人的内心深处都渴望奇迹，都如孩子一般眨着期待的双眼，期待着下一次，期待着生活的情趣，你我灵魂深处都有一座无线电中转站------只有你我年轻，则总能听到希望的呼唤，总能发出喜悦的欢呼，总能传达勇气的讯号，总能表现出青春的活力„„„

一旦青春的天线倒下，你的灵魂即为玩世不恭之雪、悲观厌世之冰覆盖；即使你年方20.其实你已垂垂老也。而只要你青春的天线高高耸起，就可以随时接收到乐观的电波-----即使你年过八旬，行将就木，而你却仍然拥有青春，你仍然年轻。谢谢！first i want to ask you some questions:

1、do you know what is youth?

2、how do you master your youth?youth youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind;it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness;it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease.this often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of 20.nobody grows old merely by a number of years.we grow old by deserting our ideals.years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.worry , fear , self –distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being ‘s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what’s next and the joy of the game of living.in the center of your heart and my heart there’s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long as you are young.when the aerials are down , and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old ,even at 20 , but as long as your aerials are up ,to catch waves of optimism , there is hope you may die young at 80.thank you!篇二：英语演讲稿“青春_梦想” flying youth, master our future distinguished judges, teachers, dear friends life is a process of growing up.saying goodbye to childhood, we step into another important time of life‘the youth’.however, who can really say what the youth is ? a period of time? a belief？ an attitude to life? or anything else? we don’t know.a famous poet said ‘ youth is a lovely song ,where nothing is impossible;youth is a meaningful book, you’ll be never bored of it ；youth is a rapid river ,it keeps on flowing day and night ；youth is a cup of tea ,it shows you different kinds of tastes in your life.’

i firmly believe one sentence that‘if you think you can, of course you can!’just believe we can make it!keep on walking towards our dream.flying youth ,master our future.from today, from now on ,from duping middle school!ready ? that’s all.thank you so much for your attention!尊敬的评委，老师，亲爱的朋友们

你好，大家！我的名字是，我来自。今天，我站在这里与你分享我最真诚的演讲。放飞青春，掌握我们的未来！

生命是一个成长的过程。告别童年，我们步入生命’这是青年的另一个重要的时间。然而，谁真的可以说青春是什么？一段时间？信仰？一种生活态度？或是其他的什么？我们不知道。一个著名的诗人说，青春是一首可爱的歌，没有什么是不可能的；青春是一个有意义的书，你将永远不会厌倦；青春是一条湍急的河流，它不断流动的白天和夜晚；青春是一杯茶，它表明你不同的生活品味。

青春是如此的珍贵，当然，我们一定要珍惜它。不要让有限的时间过去了，没有留下任何的意义，我们的未来。事实上，年轻人有很多事情要做，我们的未来。我们准备好的未来是必要的。所以，我们应该做些什么呢？在这里，我将指出一些技巧来帮助我们自己的装备 首先，认识到你的未来方向。在其他的话，想想你的某一天。一个老师吗？医生？一个作家？不要害怕思考大和巨大的。因为你还年轻，你可以梦想做什么和将来成为任何人

更重要的是，永远不要忽视知识的力量。阅读更多的书籍和旅游。首先，它可以增加你的知识，另一个，它会拓宽你的视野。最后但并非最不重要的，坚持你的梦想。说起来容易做起来难.毕竟，未来是不是所有的玫瑰。因此，我们应该有足够的勇气和决心克服一切困难。我坚信一句话：敢于梦想就可以实现！“请相信我们能做到！要实现我们的梦想，走。飞扬的青春，把握我们的未来。从今天开始，从现在开始，从平中学！准备好了吗？ 这一切。谢谢你的关注篇三：英语演讲稿：关于青春演讲稿

英语演讲稿：关于青春演讲稿first i want to ask you some questions:

1、do you know what is youth?

幽默英文演讲稿 篇6

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣?god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirthand the rejection even from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．． 她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faultsand i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．． 当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！

请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．

but, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.篇二：英语演讲幽默开场白 英语演讲幽默开场白 作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。

演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program---and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。

过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。

i used to get nervous when giving a speech but then i read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked.and so, at this very moment, i’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked.and it really works.i no suffer from nervousness.eyestrain.yes 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。

创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。

personally, i have never been conceited---and i can’t tell you how much i admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我.我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。

let me put this into plain english.i’ll translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。

创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？

如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。

if you’ve already heard this story, please don’t stop me because it’s the only one i know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。

创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。

making a speech is like watering a lawn.you’re satisfied if just a quarter of it sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。

创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。

before i begin, i want you to know that the following speech has been edited fortelevision.i cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel 2.幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。

可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，——他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。

幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。

创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人笑呢？篇三：幽默英语演讲稿 幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲

why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈.because im a woman, she told him.因为我是女人,她告诉他.i dont understand, he said.我不明白.他回答

his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系...later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?.后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say......所有的女人都会常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的...the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候,他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭.finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered......上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special.i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人...i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children.我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛,也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子...i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without 我给她顽强,让她能够不断地前进, 并且照顾自己的家人和朋友, 甚至当每个人都放弃的时候, 她却能够坚强地在疾病和劳累之时毫无怨言...i gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances.even when her child has hurt her badly....she has the very special power to make a childs boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenagers anxieties and fears....我给她内心的敏感,让她在任何环境下都深爱着自己的孩子.甚至在他们深深伤害她的时候．．．

她用那特别的力量，让年幼孩子的在受伤的时候感到安慰，也能够让年轻的子女消除紧张与恐惧．．．

i gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and i fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....我给她力量关心她的丈夫，尽管他会犯错．我用男人的肋骨创造了女人，使女人可以保护男人的心脏．．．

i gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....我给她智慧，让她知道一个好丈夫永远不会伤害他的妻子，但有时候会试炼她坚定的永远跟随自己丈夫的能力与决心． for all of this hard work, i also gave her a tear to shed.it is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....when you see her cry,tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.因为这些种种的困难，我也同样赐她流下眼泪，这是当她在需要时可以使用的，这是她唯一的软弱之处．．． 当你看到她哭泣的时候，告诉她你有多么地爱她，告诉她她为所有人所做的一切，即使这样她可能还是会哭泣，但你会使她的心里得到安慰． she is special!please send this to women you know, and those with mothers, sisters, and special women in their lives.她是独特的！

请把这个信息传递给你认识的女人，有母亲，姐妹和特别的女性在他们生命里的人．