托福综合写作tpo

托福综合写作tpo（共6篇）

托福综合写作tpo 篇1

在新托福综合写作中，有的同学语言使用的能力还有一定局限，还要刻意追求句式的复杂化，但这样的后果就是写出来的句子个个都有错，个个都有表达不清。其实用最好的词表达最多的内容才是最厉害的写作方式，本文为大家整理了一篇新托福综合写作范文，来源于TPO 17。阅读材料：

In the past century, the steady growth of the human population and the corresponding increasing in agriculture and pesticide use have caused much harm to wildlife in the United States – birds in particular.Unfortunately for birds, these trends are likely to continue, with the result that the number of birds in the United States will necessarily decline.在过去的一个世界，人类数量的增加以及随之而来的农业生产的发展和杀虫剂的增加使得很多美国的野生动物受到了影响，而这种问题在鸟类上表现得更为明显。更加不幸的是，由于人口数量、农业生产和杀虫剂使用的趋势不会改变，美国的鸟类数量将会必然地随之下降。First, as human populations and settlements continue to expand, birds’ natural habitats will continue to disappear.Forests, wetlands, and grasslands will give way to ever more homes, malls, and offices.As the traditional areas suitable for birds keep decreasing, so will the size of the birds’ populations that depend on those vanishing habitats.首先，随着人口数量和居住面积的不断扩张，鸟类天然的栖息地持续地减少。森林、湿地和草原都变成的住宅、商场和写字楼。随着那些传统的适宜鸟类栖息的地方持续减少，失去赖以生存栖息地的鸟类，数量自然是减少的。

Second, agricultural activities must increase to keep pace with the growing human population.The growth of agriculture will also result in the further destruction of bird habitats as more and more wilderness areas are converted to agricultural use.As a result, bird populations in rural areas will continue to decline.第二，为了能够满足增长的人口数量，农业活动也必须随之增加。农业的增加的代价是进一步破坏鸟类的栖息地，越来越多的荒地变成了农业用地。因而，鸟类在乡村的数量也随之持续减少。Third, as human settlements expand and agriculture increases, the use of chemical pesticides will also increase.Pesticides are poisons designed to kill agricultural and home garden pests, such as insects, but inevitable, pesticides get into the water and into the food chain for birds where they can harm birds.Birds that eat the poisoned insects or drink contaminated water can die as a result, and even if pesticides do not kill birds outright, they can prevent them from reproducing successfully.So, pesticides have significantly contributed to declines in bird population, and because there will continue to be a need to control agricultural pests in the future, this decline will continue.第三，随着人类居住地的扩展和农业的发展，化学农药的使用也增加了。农药是用来杀死诸如昆虫之类的生长在农田或者菜园的害虫的有毒物质。不可避免的是，这些农药会进入水系和食物链，进而伤害鸟类。鸟类会吃被毒死的昆虫或者喝污染了的水。这样会导致鸟类的死亡，即便不会不会导致鸟类的立刻死亡，也会影响鸟类的繁殖。所以，杀虫剂会对鸟类的数量有非常严重的影响。同时，因为即便是在将来，还是需要杀虫剂来控制农业害虫，所以，鸟类数量减少的趋势难以改变。阅读部分需要提取的观点是：

-Main point: 三个原因导致鸟类数量减少Sub point 2: 农业用地的增加Sub point 2: 因为新品种作物的种植，农业用地会越来越少

-Sub point 3: 新型杀虫剂的毒性变小，并且正在研制新型抗虫害作物，将来杀虫剂不会继续伤害鸟类

透视托福综合写作常见误区 篇2

题型及评分标准

托福写作共分为两部分：综合写作和独立写作。综合写作的考查形式相对复杂：考生先要用三分钟的时间看一篇200～300词的阅读材料，然后再听一段与阅读材料相关的时长为两分钟的录音，最后结合二者的内容写一篇文章。综合写作看似很复杂，但其实并不难。考生只要听力过关，把握好综合写作的评分标准和考核要求，还是很有可能在这一单项上拿到满分的。下面笔者就来介绍一下综合写作的评分标准。

《新托福考试官方指南》（The Official Guide to the New TOEFL iBT，后文简称“OG”）对托福综合写作给出的5分评分标准如下：“A response at this level successfully selects the important information from the lecture and coherently and accurately presents this information in relation to the relevant information presented in the reading. The response is well organized， and occasional language errors that are present do not result in inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connection.”从字面上看，此标准提出了两个要求：①考生在写作时要完整阐述阅读材料及录音中的内容；②文章结构要完整，可以偶尔出现一些语言上的小错误，但不能影响句意及逻辑的表达。

很多考生在综合写作上失分，原因就在于没有仔细研究评分标准，没弄清楚这一单项的考核要求。由此一来，考生犯了很多不该犯的错误，其原有的水平发挥不出来，自然得不到理想的分数。

常见误区剖析

为了帮助考生获得高分，下面笔者就重点分析一下考生在托福综合写作应考中经常出现的一些误区。

1.记笔记=逐词听记

很多考生在做综合写作时都有一个疑惑：录音部分的笔记到底要记什么？大多数考生在听录音时，总想把每个词都记下来，唯恐漏掉一个。但其实，任何人都无法在这么短的时间里把每一个词都记下来。此外，过于注重单个单词的记录反而会令考生漏掉一些关键信息，甚至搞不清录音材料的逻辑，进而导致失分。

其实，关于笔记要记什么，OG上已有明确的表述：“A response at this level successfully selects the important information …”这句话里用的是“important”而非“all”，说明考生只需记主要信息，而无需“词词俱到”。有的考生会问：“是不是我只要记录音的主要观点就可以了？”答案同样是“非也”。OG的4分评分标准中有这么一句：“… but it may have minor omission， inaccuracy， vagueness， or imprecision of some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading …”这句话表明，除points以外，考生还要记一些content，即说话人是怎么论证/驳斥阅读材料中的观点的，举了什么例子等。如果这些内容没能体现在考生的写作中，就算观点都写全了，考生最多也只能得4分。对应新托福的评分标准，失掉的这1分原始分相当于最终成绩的6分。

因此，根据OG中5分和4分的评分标准，考生可以清晰地看到ETS （美国教育考试服务中心）对记笔记的要求，即记录主要观点、论证方式和例证。至于那些细枝末节，有了当然更好，没有也不至于失分。不过，考生在记笔记时，也不能只是记个大方向而已，还要尽力记全那些关键的细节。

2.综合写作是小作文，不必在意语言质量

托福综合写作中，ETS对纯语言的考查要求明显低于独立写作，考生通过对比两者的评分标准即可见端倪。独立写作的评分标准对于答案的词、句、段、结构都有详细的要求，而在综合写作的评分标准中，关于语言的要求只有一条，即well-organized。这是因为综合写作重点考核的并非语言能力，而是考生抓取信息的能力。其实，综合写作的考查形式很接近美国大学真正的上课模式，即在课前阅读大量的材料，然后去听老师讲课的内容，回来后自己消化吸收，最后通过写课程论文来呈现自己的学习成果。“消化吸收”才是学习的主要目的，而“写作”的形式其实没那么重要。

正因为如此，很多考生会将综合写作视为“小作文”，答题时不重视这部分的语言质量。殊不知，很多考生都曾因综合写作的语言不过关而失分。为此，考生在答题时，务必要注意以下两点。

①大量的、影响考官理解的语言错误一定会被扣分。OG的4分评分标准中有这么一句：“A response is also scored at this level if it has more frequent or noticeable minor language errors， as long as such usage and grammatical structures do not result in anything more than an occasional lapse of clarity or in the connection of ideas.”这句话表明，如果考生的答案中频繁出现一些小的语言错误，影响考官对写作内容的理解，考生会因此而失掉1分。

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②逻辑连接词非常重要。尽管OG五档评分标准的内容都不相同，但每一档评分标准的最后都特别提到了connection of ideas。这就说明考官需要的是一篇文章，而非观点和事实的堆砌。考生需要利用逻辑连接词，将阅读和录音材料中的观点及事实连成一篇文章。考生要切记：综合写作的辞藻不必太华丽，但要尽量避免语言错误，文章的逻辑关系一定要清楚。

综合写作中常用的逻辑连接词有以下几种。

驳斥：refute、disagree with、cast doubt on、challenge、oppose、conflict with、deny the statement of、contradict等；

支持：support、enhance、uphold等；

转折：in contrast、however、on the other hand、on the contrary、while等；

列举：first、second、third、first of all、secondly、also、finally、in the first place、furthermore、moreover等。

解答综合写作时，考生若能巧妙运用这些逻辑连接词，将所看和所听到的内容融为一体，写就一篇逻辑清晰、内容完整、“有血有肉”的文章，那在综合写作部分拿到满分就成了轻而易举之事。下面请看托福模考软件TPO第12套题的一篇例文，体会逻辑连接词的作用。

The speaker challenges the passage on the topic of the portrait of Jane Austen， offering contradictory evidence concerning whether the subject of this professional painting is Jane Austen herself.

First of all， the family members of Austen did not know for certain if the portrait was Austen or not. Despite the content from the author that Austen’s family gave permission to use the portrait as an illustration in an edition of her letters， the speaker， however， brings forward the alternative proof that Jane Austen had been dead for almost 70 years when the portrait was authorized for use in the 1882 publication of letters and none of the members of Austen’s family had seen the portrait in person before.

Contrary to the writer’s statement that the face in the portrait clearly resembles the one in Cassandra’s sketch which we know depicts Austen， the narrator argues that the painting could be one of Austen’s. Moreover， the Austen family is large. Many of the female cousins of Jane Austen were teenagers. Some of these teenage girls could resemble Jane Austen， and meanwhile many experts believed that the true subject of the portrait was one of these relatives.

Another argument raised in the lecture is that there is other evidence pointing out that this painting is of a later date， and this directly contradicts what is stated in the passage. The lecturer explains that the stamp on the back of the picture indicates that the material of this painting was canvas which started to sell in London when Jane Austen was 27 years old. Consequently， the canvas was used for painting at the time when Austen was clearly older than the girl in the portrait.

So， the contents in the passage are contradicted by the lecturer and the lecturer has totally different ideas on the points made in the passage.

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3.综合写作= summary

部分考生误以为综合写作就是一篇summary，只要总结了阅读和录音材料中的观点就够了，其实不然。综合写作要求考生写的是一篇分析类的文章，这就更需要考生表达清楚文章的逻辑，特别是阅读和录音材料之间的关系。考生可以通过下面这篇TPO第22套题的例文中的划线部分来体会怎样清楚地表达二者之间的关系。

The speaker and the passage have contradictory opinions concerning the usage of ethanol fuel. Three pieces of evidence offered by the speaker have effectively questioned the related reasons held in the passage. （首先清楚表明阅读和录音材料之间是统一还是矛盾的关系）

First of all， although one disadvantage from the passage is （后文是对阅读材料观点的详尽阐述） that burning ethanol fuel releases carbon dioxide， which is a kind of greenhouse gas， into the atmosphere， the speaker， however， challenges this information by alternative proof （后文是对录音观点及关键细节的描述） that the growing of plants such as corn may absolutely counteract the greenhouse gas by absorbing most of it for its own survival. The amount of carbon dioxide released is less than the amount absorbed， so that there is no need to be afraid that ethanol fuel will aggravate global warming.

Besides， according to the speaker （后文继续补充录音中的重要内容）， using corn to produce ethanol fuel will not risk reducing the food sources for animals because through using advanced technology， we can obtain a kind of plant which can be used to make the ethanol fuel and， at the same time， animals do not eat it. This totally casts doubt on the point in the passage （再次阐明录音材料与阅读材料之间的关系） that since most of the corn is used to produce ethanol fuel， there will not be sufficient food for animals.

Finally， despite the proof of the passage （补充阅读材料中的例证） that the price of the ethanol fuel will be higher than common fuel in the future when the government stops their support， the speaker effectively weakens the validity of this view by stating the fact （补充录音材料中的例证） that the more consumers buy ethanol fuel， the more is produced and， as a result of the help of the government， the lower and more affordable its price will be in the future.

通过上述例文考生会发现，仅仅通过一些简单的逻辑连接词将阅读和录音材料的观点结合起来，突显出二者之间的统一或矛盾关系，这是远远不够的。结合OG评分标准考生不难发现，除了总结阅读和录音材料之间的关系，考生还要写出很多具体的论证细节，这对考生的总结能力提出了更高的要求。由此可见，综合写作绝不是简单的summary。

OG的重要性

根据上述内容考生可以看出，尽管OG的评分标准看上去都是一些貌似无关痛痒的话，但其实深究下去，ETS的考官们早已把考试要求写在了字里行间。这就需要考生细细研读，仔细钻研，揣摩考官的用意，对症下药，同时搞清楚得分点在哪里，如此方能轻松应对。

考生若想知道考官到底想考什么，也只能依靠OG，因为这是仅有的一本应考“圣经”。以前曾有很多考生将OG粗粗看一遍，然后扔在一边，觉得自己了解了题型就可以了，反正上面的题目也不会再考，看了也没用。而事实上，OG的作用绝不仅仅是告知题型这么简单，它同时还给出了备考的思路和方向。考生如果不重视OG，花再多的时间啃书、做题也是事倍功半。由此可见，正确、细致地解读评分标准还是相当重要的。

综上所述，考生备考托福综合写作的确不是容易的事。综合写作是要求很高的一个单项，不仅考查考生的阅读能力和听力水平，同时又以写作的形式来考查考生的逻辑、总结概括能力以及写作能力。不过，考生想要达到满分的目标也并非难如登天。考生只要踏实、努力、坚持不懈，按照评分标准的指向认真备考，多做练习，就能在综合写作上取得佳绩。最后，祝愿各位考生早日获得托福高分，叩开美国留学的大门。

TPO托福阅读真题答案及解析 篇3

The Long-Term Stability of Ecosystems

Plant communities assemble themselves flexibly, and their particular structure depends on the specific history of the area. Ecologists use the term “succession” to refer to the changes that happen in plant communities and ecosystems over time. The first community in a succession is called a pioneer community, while the long-lived community at the end of succession is called a climax community. Pioneer and successional plant communities are said to change over periods from 1 to 500 years. These changes—in plant numbers and the mix of species—are cumulative. Climax communities themselves change but over periods of time greater than about 500 years.

An ecologist who studies a pond today may well find it relatively unchanged in a year’s time. Individual fish may be replaced, but the number of fish will tend to be the same from one year to the next. We can say that the properties of an ecosystem are more stable than the individual organisms that compose the ecosystem.

At one time, ecologists believed that species diversity made ecosystems stable. They believed that the greater the diversity the more stable the ecosystem. Support for this idea came from the observation that long-lasting climax communities usually have more complex food webs and more species diversity than pioneer communities. Ecologists concluded that the apparent stability of climax ecosystems depended on their complexity. To take an extreme example, farmlands dominated by a single crop are so unstable that one year of bad weather or the invasion of a single pest can destroy the entire crop. In contrast, a complex climax community, such as a temperate forest, will tolerate considerable damage from weather to pests.

The question of ecosystem stability is complicated, however. The first problem is that ecologists do not all agree what “stability” means. Stability can be defined as simply lack of change. In that case, the climax community would be considered the most stable, since, by definition, it changes the least over time. Alternatively, stability can be defined as the speed with which an ecosystem returns to a particular form following a major disturbance, such as a fire. This kind of stability is also called resilience. In that case, climax communities would be the most fragile and the least stable, since they can require hundreds of years to return to the climax state.

Even the kind of stability defined as simple lack of change is not always associated with maximum diversity. At least in temperate zones, maximum diversity is often found in mid-successional stages, not in the climax community. Once a redwood forest matures, for example, the kinds of species and the number of individuals growing on the forest floor are reduced. In general, diversity, by itself, does not ensure stability. Mathematical models of ecosystems likewise suggest that diversity does not guarantee ecosystem stability—just the opposite, in fact. A more complicated system is, in general, more likely than a simple system to break down. A fifteen-speed racing bicycle is more likely to break down than a child’s tricycle.

Ecologists are especially interested to know what factors contribute to the resilience of communities because climax communities all over the world are being severely damaged or destroyed by human activities. The destruction caused by the volcanic explosion of Mount St. Helens, in the northwestern United States, for example, pales in comparison to the destruction caused by humans. We need to know what aspects of a community are most important to the community’s resistance to destruction, as well as its recovery.

Many ecologists now think that the relative long-term stability of climax communities comes not from diversity but from the “patchiness” of the environment, an environment that varies from place to place supports more kinds of organisms than an environment that is uniform. A local population that goes extinct is quickly replaced by immigrants from an adjacent community. Even if the new population is of a different species, it can approximately fill the niche vacated by the extinct population and keep the food web intact.

Paragraph 1: Plant communities assemble themselves flexibly, and their particular structure depends on the specific history of the area. Ecologists use the term “succession” to refer to the changes that happen in plant communities and ecosystems over time. The first community in a succession is called a pioneer community, while the long-lived community at the end of succession is called a climax community. Pioneer and successional plant communities are said to change over periods from 1 to 500 years. These changes—in plant numbers and the mix of species—are cumulative. Climax communities themselves change but over periods of time greater than about 500 years.

TPO托福阅读题目

1. The word “particular” in the passage is closest in meaning to

○Natural

○Final

○Specific

○Complex

2. According to paragraph 1, which of the following is NOT true of climax communities?

○They occur at the end of a succession.

○They last longer than any other type of community.

○The numbers of plants in them and the mix of species do not change.

○They remain stable for at least 500 years at a time.

Paragraph 2: An ecologist who studies a pond today may well find it relatively unchanged in a year’s time. Individual fish may be replaced, but the number of fish will tend to be the same from one year to the next. We can say that the properties of an ecosystem are more stable than the individual organisms that compose the ecosystem.

3. According to paragraph 2, which of the following principles of ecosystems can be learned by studying a pond?

○Ecosystem properties change more slowly than individuals in the system.

○The stability of an ecosystem tends to change as individuals are replaced.

○Individual organisms are stable from one year to the next.

○A change in the members of an organism does not affect an ecosystem’s properties

Paragraph 3: At one time, ecologists believed that species diversity made ecosystems stable. They believed that the greater the diversity the more stable the ecosystem. Support for this idea came from the observation that long-lasting climax communities usually have more complex food webs and more species diversity than pioneer communities. Ecologists concluded that the apparent stability of climax ecosystems depended on their complexity. To take an extreme example, farmlands dominated by a single crop are so unstable that one year of bad weather or the invasion of a single pest can destroy the entire crop. In contrast, a complex climax community, such as a temperate forest, will tolerate considerable damage from weather of pests.

4. According to paragraph 3, ecologists once believed that which of the following illustrated the most stable ecosystems?

○Pioneer communities

○Climax communities

○Single-crop farmlands

○Successional plant communities

Paragraph 4: The question of ecosystem stability is complicated, however. The first problem is that ecologists do not all agree what “stability” means. Stability can be defined as simply lack of change. In that case, the climax community would be considered the most stable, since, by definition, it changes the least over time. Alternatively, stability can be defined as the speed with which an ecosystem returns to a particular form following a major disturbance, such as a fire. This kind of stability is also called resilience. In that case, climax communities would be the most fragile and the least stable, since they can require hundreds of years to return to the climax state.

5. According to paragraph 4, why is the question of ecosystem stability complicated?

○The reasons for ecosystem change are not always clear.

○Ecologists often confuse the word “stability” with the word “resilience.”

○The exact meaning of the word “stability” is debated by ecologists.

○There are many different answers to ecological questions.

6. According to paragraph 4, which of the following is true of climax communities?

○They are more resilient than pioneer communities.

○They can be considered both the most and the least stable communities.

○They are stable because they recover quickly after major disturbances.

○They are the most resilient communities because they change the least over time.

Paragraph 5: Even the kind of stability defined as simple lack of change is not always associated with maximum diversity. At least in temperate zones, maximum diversity is often found in mid-successional stages, not in the climax community. Once a redwood forest matures, for example, the kinds of species and the number of individuals growing on the forest floor are reduced. In general, diversity, by itself, does not ensure stability. Mathematical models of ecosystems likewise suggest that diversity does not guarantee ecosystem stability—just the opposite, in fact. A more complicated system is, in general, more likely than a simple system to break down. (A fifteen-speed racing bicycle is more likely to break down than a child’s tricycle.)

7. Which of the following can be inferred from paragraph 5 about redwood forests?

○They become less stable as they mature.

○They support many species when they reach climax.

○They are found in temperate zones.

○They have reduced diversity during mid-successional stages.

8. The word “guarantee” in the passage is closest in meaning to

○Increase

○Ensure

○Favor

○Complicate

9. In paragraph 5, why does the author provide the information that “(A fifteen-speed racing bicycle is more likely to break down than a child’s tricycle)”?

○To illustrate a general principle about the stability of systems by using an everyday example

○To demonstrate that an understanding of stability in ecosystems can be applied to help understand stability in other situations

○To make a comparison that supports the claim that, in general, stability increases with diversity

○To provide an example that contradicts mathematical models of ecosystems

Paragraph 6: Ecologists are especially interested to know what factors contribute to the resilience of communities because climax communities all over the world are being severely damaged or destroyed by human activities. The destruction caused by the volcanic explosion of Mount St. Helens, in the northwestern United States, for example, pales in comparison to the destruction caused by humans. We need to know what aspects of a community are most important to the community’s resistance to destruction, as well as its recovery.

10. The word “pales” in the passage is closest in meaning to

○Increases proportionally

○Differs

○Loses significance

○Is common

Paragraph 7：Many ecologists now think that the relative long-term stability of climax communities comes not from diversity but from the “patchiness” of the environment, an environment that varies from place to place supports more kinds of organisms than an environment that is uniform. A local population that goes extinct is quickly replaced by immigrants from an adjacent community. Even if the new population is of a different species, it can approximately fill the niche vacated by the extinct population and keep the food web intact.

11.Which of the sentences below best expresses the essential information in the highlighted sentence in the passage? Incurred choices change the meaning in important ways or leave out essential information.

○Ecologists now think that the stability of an environment is a result of diversity rather than patchiness.

○Patchy environments that vary from place to place do not often have high species diversity.

○Uniform environments cannot be climax communities because they do not support as many types of organisms as patchy environments.

○A patchy environment is thought to increase stability because it is able to support a wide variety of organisms.

12.The word “adjacent” in the passage is closest in meaning to

○Foreign

○Stable

○Fluid

○Neighboring

Paragraph 6: Ecologists are especially interested to know what factors contribute to the resilience of communities because climax communities all over the world are being severely damaged or destroyed by human activities. The destruction caused by the volcanic explosion of Mount St. Helens, in the northwestern United States, for example, pales in comparison to the destruction caused by humans. We need to know what aspects of a community are most important to the community’s resistance to destruction, as well as its recovery.

13.Look at the four squares [ ] that indicate where the following sentence could be added to the passage.

In fact, damage to the environment by humans is often much more severe than damage by natural events and processes.

Where would the sentence best fit? Click on a square to add the sentence to the passage.

14.Directions: An introductory sentence for a brief summary of the passage is provided below. Complete the summary by selecting the THREE answer choices that express the most important ideas in the passage. Some sentences do not belong in the summary because they express ideas that are not presented in the passage or are minor ideas in the passage. This question is worth 2 points.

The process of succession and the stability of a climax community can change over time.

Answer choices

○The changes that occur in an ecosystem from the pioneer to the climax community can be seen in one human generation.

○A high degree of species diversity does not always result in a stable ecosystem.

○The level of resilience in a plant community contributes to its long-term stability.

○Ecologists agree that climax communities are the most stable types of ecosystems.

○Disagreements over the meaning of the term “stability” make it difficult to identify the most stable ecosystems.

托福综合写作经典 篇4

开头段

The lecture apparently disproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage … However the professor asserts that a closer scrutiny of this argument would reveal how flimsy it is. He then presents several evidences to demonstrate his statement.

内容第一段

To start with, the professor claims that the reading passage fails to take into account that…

Therefore, the assertion of the author seems too absolute since other possibilities could not be eliminated by any current evidence.

内容第二段

Furthermore, the passage assumes that…. The professor, however, suggests that this assumption may not be merited by the evidence. Say, ….. The contradiction is obvious here when … . On the basis of this point the lecture explicitly refutes the passage.

内容第三段

Last but not the least, the passage may be right about …., but one critical fact is being left out of consideration. Pointed out by the professor, the author totally neglects the truth that… On account of above-mentioned grave mistakes, the author’s assertion turned out to be a preposterous idea.

结尾段

In conclusion, based on the arguments offered above, the professor clearly identifies the defects in the reading passage and forcefully shows that…

其它说明细节

文中至少有一个举例形式，如果实在用不到上面句型，可以用转述凑字数：In other words, that is to say, …

其他有用句型

The reading assumes that…, a situation that seems to be at odds with … 与…是矛盾的

托福写作：怎么做到善用例子

如动物→鸟类，现代交通方式→飞机，上面的举例是简单的形式，即对单个词/短语，或说单个对象举例。我们在独立写作中会遇到对单个对象的举例，这也是大家都能做好的;但我们更常遇到的是需要对一个句子，或说多个对象互相联系而串成的观点举例的情况，这时我们就需要留意我们所举的例子的有效性了。

托福写作举例的基本原则：

a. 细节性原则----细于被举例者。

b. 一致性原则----良好体现与要用举例证明的观点的一致对应关系，观点中的重点信息应在例子中不多不少地体现。

新托福写作真经介绍的举例的具体操作方法：

粗举，细举，引调查，列数字。

(1)粗例----粗犷的例子

“粗例”即一类人、物或事，或一个公认事实的例子，说白了就是多数人都能认可的信息。寻找这类例子的时候比较轻松，只要在观点中找出可以继续细化的重点信息然后“narrow down”就可以了。

观点1： Employers are willing to pay a premium for highly qualified applicants.

粗例1： International companies desire bilingual employees and offer higher salaries to attract them.

“粗例”可以建立“面”对“线”的关系，但需要注意不能太空洞，同时也要控制使用的量;粗例子需要搭配因果分析、比较论证来使用，才能使整个段落更有血肉。

托福写作之常犯的错误

1. 不完整的句子

(1) If you find that writing is hard is because it is hard. One of the hardest things that people do.

If you find that writing is hard is because it is hard—one of the hardest things that people do.

(2) Stereotypes are a kind of gossip about the world. A gossip that makes us prejudge people before we ever lay eyes on them.

Stereotypes are a kind of gossip about the world, a gossip that makes us prejudge people before we ever lay eyes on them.

Stereotypes are a kind of gossip about the world that makes us prejudge people before we ever lay eyes on them.

2. 分词短语作状语的错误

Holding her in his arms, the moon hid behind the cloud.

As soon as the moon hid behind the cloud, he held her in his arms.

3. 修饰词错位

(1) Romeo received word that Juliet was dead from another messenger.

Romeo received word from another messenger that Juliet was dead.

(2) After leaving the stage, the audience’s applause called the musicians back for an encore.

After the musicians left the stage, the audience’s applause called them back for an encore.

(3) Disruptive in the classroom, a teacher may become exasperated with hyperactive children.

Disruptive in the classroom, hyperactive children may exasperate a teacher.

4. 串句

Unproductive or uncooperative workers can seriously harm an organization, for this reason, employers need to have accurate information about employee performance, but when employees have full access to their own personnel files, co-workers and even supervisors will often find it difficult to give frank criticism of underachievers or to report troublemakers.

Unproductive or uncooperative workers can seriously harm an organization; for this reason, employers need to have accurate information about employee performance. But when employees have full access to their own personnel files, co-workers and even supervisors will often find it difficult to give frank criticism of underachievers or to report troublemakers.

5. 时态错误

The researchers admitted that they falsified crucial data in the study.

The researchers admitted that they had falsified crucial data in the study.

6. 代词错误

(1) Too often people either keep their feelings to themselves or take it our on others.

Too often people either keep their feelings to themselves or take them our on others.

(2) Each girl and boy must do their part to keep the home fires burning.

Each girl and boy must do her or his part to keep the home fires burning.

(3) This college has their own entrance requirements.

This college has its own entrance requirements.

(4) If one wishes to participate in the political process, you can begin by voting regularly.

If one wishes to participate in the political process, one can begin by voting regularly.

(5) The fire in the library was finally put out. For a while, they thought an unhappy employee might have started it.

The fire in the library was finally put out. For a while, the library staff thought an unhappy employee might have started it.

7. 结构混乱

Because Hemingway’s style is simple makes his writing accessible to all readers.

Because Hemingway’s style is simple, his writing is accessible to all readers.

托福综合写作tpo 篇5

(1.1) Main idea: Babies as young as five month old can do basic math

(1.2) Example (study)

(1.2.1) A baby is shown a doll on a table

(1.2.2) A screen is lowered between the baby and the doll

(1.2.3) A second doll is very obviously placed behind the screen

(1.2.4) One of the dolls is secretly taken away

(1.2.5) Screen is raised back up

(1.2.6) Baby is surprised to see one doll, because it’s expecting to see two

(1.2.7) We know it’s surprised because it stared

托福独立写作硬伤剖析 篇6

审题 避免跑题

在托福独立写作中，审题和构思永远是第一位的。考生如果在审题上出现偏差，那么即使语言再好，例子再多，也很难拿到高分。在《新托福考试官方指南》独立写作部分的评分标准中，取得5分的其中一条标准是“effectively addresses the topic and task”，这就是要求考生写作要扣题。在实践中，考生在审题方面容易出现以下两种错误。

问题一：分辨不清“实然”还是“应然”

“实然”类题目问的是现实中是否存在某种情况。如2013年3月3日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ Young people today are more likely to spend time and effort to improve the world than young people in the past.”该题目是问今天的年轻人是不是比过去的年轻人更愿意花时间和精力来改进世界。也就是说，题目问的是现实中存不存在这种情况，而不是年轻人应不应该这样做。

“应然”类题目问的是某种做法是否应该鼓励，或者做某件事情是否重要。如2013年1月13日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ It is important to make sure that others （influential people or potential employers） know about your strengths and accomplishments； or you will not have a successful life.”该题目是问想要获得成功的人生，你是不是应该让别人（有影响力的人或潜在雇主）了解你的特长和成就。

“实然”和“应然”是两个不同的概念，对此考生需要注意辨别，在主体段的写作中也要采取不同的论证方法。

对于“实然”类题目，考生应着重利用事实和客观证据来构思分论点。以2013年1月26日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目为例：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ Young people today are more likely to help others than young people in the past.”该题目是问现在的年轻人事实上是不是比以前的年轻人更有可能帮助人，而不是问现在的年轻人应不应该比以前的人更多地帮助人。因此，这道题属于“实然”类题目。考生在写作分论点时，应着重从事实和客观证据的角度来寻找依据，比如“现在的年轻人可以用很多传统方式帮助人”“现在的年轻人也可以用很多现代化的新型方式帮助人”等。在每个分论点内部，考生应多运用实际的事例来论证。

对于“应然”类题目，考生应着重从“为什么”的角度来构思分论点。以2013年3月2日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目为例：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ The world is busy and crowded； we should not expect people to be polite to others.”该题目本质上是问礼貌是否重要，属于“应然”类题目。考生在写作时，分论点应重点讲“为什么礼貌很重要”，比如“对人有礼貌能够让我们交到更多朋友”“人们之间互有礼貌有助于国家和社会的和谐”等。在每个分论点内部，考生应先解释清楚理由，再辅以例子支持。

考生如果不能准确识别“实然”和“应然”类题目，就可能在审题和构思时出现跑题的问题。这样一来，即使例子很充分，语言也较好，考生依然拿不到好成绩。比如，有一位考生参加2013年3月2日的托福考试，独立写作题目为上文提到的“应然”类题目，即我们是否应该对人有礼貌。该考生由于紧张，审题时出现偏差，结果将文章中的一个分论点设成了“因为现实生活中有很多人都对人有礼貌，所以我们应该对人有礼貌”，这就犯了混淆“实然”和“应然”类题目的错误。用“现实生活中有很多人对人有礼貌”来证明题目要求的“我们应不应该对人礼貌”违背了5分评分标准中的要求（effectively addresses the topic and task）。因此，该考生在独立写作部分只得到了Fair档的分数。而以该考生的语言功底和平时表现，其在独立写作部分拿Good档分数是没有问题的，正是审题的失误导致其独立写作发挥失常。这样的失误很令人遗憾，应该尽量避免。

问题二：审题时把重心放在个别词汇上，只见树木，不见森林

对于独立写作题目，考生要根据题目的整体来审题，不要把审题重心放在题目中的个别词汇上。考生要领会命题人整体的命题意图，否则考生即使语言功底很好，文章细节充分，也会因为审题片面而跑题，拿不到本来应得的成绩。

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同样以“The world is busy and crowded； we should not expect people to be polite to others”这道题为例。这道题整体上问的是“礼貌是否重要”或者“人们之间应不应该互有礼貌”。有位考生在审题时片面地纠结于expect这个词，因此在写主体段时把重点放在了证明“应不应该期待礼貌”上，结果导致跑题。这位考生在之前两次考试的独立写作部分都拿到了Good档的成绩，但在这次考试中却因跑题只得了Fair档的成绩。

结构 避免主体段分论点之间的交叉和冲突

在独立写作中，主体段的两个或三个分论点之间不宜出现交叉或冲突。如果出现这类硬伤，考生就无法拿到Good档的分数，因为这不符合5分标准中“unity， progression， and coherence”的要求。《新托福考试官方指南》在独立写作的organization要求中提到：“To earn a top score， you need to avoid redundancy （repetition of ideas）， digression （points that are not related to your main point， that take away from the ‘unity’ of your ideas）， and unclear connections （places where it is hard for the reader to understand how two ideas or parts of your writing are related）.”各分论点间的交叉重叠正是redundancy的体现，分论点间出现的冲突则是digression和unclear connection的体现。这些都是考生在文章结构方面应尽量避免的硬伤。下面笔者通过实例来具体分析什么是主体段分论点之间的交叉和冲突，希望能给考生以启发。

分论点之间存在内容上的交叉重叠

某考生遇到的独立写作题目如下：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ It is more important to choose friends who you can have fun with than to choose friends who will help you when you need them.”该考生选择的观点为“选择能够提供帮助的朋友更加重要”。其第一个分论点为“患难时这种朋友能够帮助自己摆脱困难”，第二个分论点为“如果帮助自己的朋友在帮助的过程中也获得好处，这样就能给双方都带来好处”。第二个分论点说朋友帮助自己对朋友也有好处，这是跑题的表现；说朋友帮助自己对双方都有好处，这其实和第一个分论点讲的“能够给自己带来好处”有交叉重叠。因此，该考生虽然在语言、字数等方面都不错，但由于结构不清晰，最后只拿到Fair档的成绩。

分论点之间存在显性的观点冲突

如果主体段的分论点之间出现了明显的观点冲突，这样的文章一定拿不到Good档的成绩。下面笔者以《新托福考试官方指南》上公布的一篇2分作文为例来具体说明。这篇文章的写作题目如下：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.”这篇2分例文在首段提出的总观点为“诚实是关系中最重要的因素”。其第一个分论点为“诚实才能够赢得朋友和同事的信任”；第二个分论点为“撒谎会为工作和家庭生活带来麻烦”；第三个分论点则话锋一转，变成了“相反，有时候撒谎更加重要”，这与总观点和前两个分论点完全冲突。这样存在冲突的论述直接削弱了考生自己观点的证明力，也使读者产生困惑，这样的作文当然拿不到高分。

分论点之间存在隐性的观点冲突

有些分论点表面看上去似乎有道理，并没有和其他分论点及全文总观点水火不容。但深入分析其内容会发现，尽管该论点也符合全文总观点的特征，但其更符合对立观点的特征，因而与其他分论点构成隐性的内在冲突。比如，2013年3月16日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目如下：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ The movies and television programs made in your own country are more interesting than movies and television programs made in other countries.”某考生选择的总观点为“国内的电影和电视节目更有趣”。其第一个分论点为“国内的电影和电视节目能让我们看到很多熟悉的东西，因此更加有趣”；第二个分论点为“国内的电影和电视节目能帮助我们了解我们不熟悉的一些国内事物，因此更加有趣”。第二个分论点虽然看似也说得通，但“不熟悉”其实更符合国外节目具备的特征，较少符合国内节目具备的特征，因为国外节目比国内节目更能够提供“不熟悉”的事物。所以，第二个分论点和第一个分论点存在隐性的观点冲突，而且该分论点不是国内节目和国外节目的显著不同，因而不能构成有效的论证。

论据 避免明显违背客观事实的论据

在独立写作具体的论证过程中，考生是完全可以“编例子”的，但是考生编的例子一定要符合常识、常理和常情，不能明显违背事实。考生在举普通人例子的时候一般可以比较随意，而且不容易出现违背常识的硬伤。但是，考生如果要举名人、著名公司或是历史事件的例子时一定要小心，必须得有事实依据，不可随意捏造。否则，如果论据出现硬伤，考生是拿不到Good档的成绩的。

比如，2012年10月28日中国内地托福考试的独立写作题目如下：“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement？ All scientific discoveries should be shared among all scientists all around the world； government and businesses should not keep any discoveries in secret.”某考生选择的观点是“科学发现应该共享，不该有秘密”，论证时用的是乔布斯的例子。但大家都知道，苹果公司的核心知识产权事实上并没有在社会上共享。因此，这篇文章即使语言没有问题，例子也很多，但因为例子本身明显不符合事实，最终考生没有拿到Good档的成绩。

以上这些审题、结构和论据方面的硬伤是考生在写作时应该极力避免的，因为这些硬伤的出现很容易让语言功底不错的考生遭受写作“滑铁卢”，失去了本来可以拿到的高分。相反，有些语言功底一般但在写作中没有出现硬伤的考生反而可以轻松取得Good档的成绩。所以，考生们在备考的过程中，在注重语言的同时也要避免在审题、结构和论据方面出现问题和硬伤，从而扫除取得高分的障碍。