英语励志小故事带翻译简单英语励志小短文(推荐7篇)
yes, yes, yes, its a new day, its a different day, and its a bright day!and most importantly, it is a new beginning for your life, a beginning where you are going to make new desicisions, take new actions, make new friends, and take your life to a totally unprecedented level!in your minds eye, you can see clearly the things you want to have, the paces you intend to go, the relationships you desire to develop, and the positions you aspire to reach.you can hear your laughters of joy and happineon the day when everything happens as you dream.you can see the smiles on the people around you when the magic moment strikes.you can feel your face is getting red, your heart is beating fast, and your blood is rushing all over your body, to every single corner of your being!篇二:英语演讲小短文 smiling i think smiling is as important as sunshine.smiling is like sunshine because it can make people happy and have a good day.if you aren?t happy, you can smile, and then you will feel happy.someone may say, “but i don?t feel happy.” then i would say, “please smile as you do when you are happy or play with your friends happily.you will really be happy again.”
smiling can let you have more friends.so i say, smiling is like a flower.it will give you happiness.微笑
我认为微笑是一样重要的象阳光。微笑是象阳光,因为它可能使人愉快和有一个早晨好。如果您不是愉快的,您能微笑,您然后将感觉愉快。某人也许说,“但是我不感到愉快”。然后我会说,“请微笑,您,当您愉快地是愉快或戏剧与您的朋友。您真正地再将是愉快的”。
微笑可能让您有更多朋友。如此我说,微笑是象花。它将给您幸福。how to get happiness 如何获得快乐
there is no doubt that happiness is the most precious thing in the world.without it, life will be empty and meaningless.if you wish to know how to get happiness, you must pay attention to the following two points.first, health is the secret of happiness(the key to happiness).only a strong man can enjoy the pleasure of life.secondly, happiness consists in contentment.a man who is dissatisfied with his present condition is always in distress.无疑的快乐是世界上最宝贵的东西。没有它,人生将是空虚的而且毫无意义的。如果你希望知道如何获得快乐,你须注意下面两点。健康是快乐的要诀。唯有身体强壮的人才能享受人生的乐趣。快乐在于知足。一个不满于现状的人终是处在痛苦之中。industry(diligence)勤勉
it is a matter of course that industry will bring us success, wealth and good luck.i am sure that a hard-working person can always succeed in the work which he wants to do.this is unchangeable truth.idleness is the opposite of industry.it is the source of all evil.an idle man only enjoys playing and making pleasures.that he is doomed to failure is of no doubt.we should not follow his example.勤勉会带给我们成功,财富和好运乃是当然之事。我确信一个苦干的人终是能够做成功他所要做的工作。这是不易之定理。懒惰是勤勉的反面。它是万恶之源泉。一个懒惰的人只享受玩耍和寻乐。他命运注定失败是毫无疑问的。我们不应学他的榜样。whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human beings heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of whats next and the joy of the game of living.in the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.无论是60岁还是16岁,你需要保持永不衰竭的好奇心、永不熄灭的孩提般求知的渴望和追求事业成功的欢乐与热情。在你我的心底,有一座无线电台,它能在多长时间里接收到人间万物传递来的美好、希望、欢乐、鼓舞和力量的信息,你就会年轻多长时间。friends 朋友
a true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.真正的朋友是一个可以援手帮助并感动你心扉的人。
theres always going to be people that hurt you, so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.别人常常伤害你,所以你该继续付出信任,并小心挑选你下次信任的人。make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.在你想了解别人也想让别人了解你之前,先完善并了解自己。remember: whatever happens, happens for a reason.要记住:任何事情的发生都有因有起。
how many people actually have 8 true friends? hardly anyone i know.but some of us have all right friends and good friends.有多少人可以拥有八个真正的朋友?就我所知少之又少。但我们会有泛泛之交和好友。love your life 热爱生活
hey david thoreau/享利.大卫.梭罗
however mean your life is, meet it and live it;do not shun it and call it hard names.it is not so bad as you are.it looks poorest when you are richest.the faultfinder will find faults in paradise.love your life, poor as it is.you may perhaps have some pleasant, thrilling, glorious hours, even in a poorhouse.the setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich mans abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.i do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there, and have as cheering thoughts, as in a palace.the towns poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any.may be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage.do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends, turn the old, return to them.things do not change;we change.sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.不论你的生活如何卑贱,你要面对它生活,不要躲避它,更别用恶言咒骂它。它不像你那样坏。你最富有的时候,倒是看似最穷。爱找缺点的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺点。你要爱你的生活,尽管它贫穷。甚至在一个济贫院里,你也还有愉快、高兴、光荣的时候。夕阳反射在济贫院的窗上,像身在富户人家窗上一样光亮;在那门前,积雪同在早春融化。我只看到,一个从容的人,在哪里也像在皇宫中一样,生活得心满意足而富有愉快的思想。城镇中的穷人,我看,倒往往是过着最独立不羁的生活。也许因为他们很大,所以受之无愧。大多数人以为他们是超然的,不靠城镇来支援他们;可是事实上他们是往往利用了不正当的手段来对付生活,他们是毫不超脱的,毋宁是不体面的。视贫穷如园中之花而像圣人一样耕植它吧!不要找新的花样,无论是新的朋友或新的衣服,来麻烦你自己。找旧的,回到那里去。万物不变,是我们在变。你的衣服可以卖掉,但要保留你的思想。love your life however mean your life is,meet it and love it;do not call it hard names.it is not so bad as you are.it looks poorest when you are richest.love your life,poor as it is.you may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hours,even in a poor-house.the setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich mans abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.i do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,turn the old,return to them.things do not change;we change.sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.热爱生活
不论你的生活如何卑贱,你要面对它生活,不要恶言咒骂它。它不像你那样坏。你最富有的时候,倒是看似最穷。你要爱你的生活,尽管它贫穷。夕阳反射在济贫院的窗上,像身在富户人家窗上一样光亮;在那门前,积雪同在早春融化。大多数人以为他们是超然的,不靠城镇来支援他们;可是事实上他们是往往利用了不正当的手段来对付生活。不要找新的花样,无论是新的朋友或新的衣服,来麻烦你自己。找旧的,回到那里去。万物不变,是我们在变。你的衣服可以卖掉,但要保留你的思想。
尽管有很多事让人忧虑,但相比而言,值得感激的事要多得多。尽管生命的美好有时被蒙上阴影,但它却永远不会被埋没。相对于每一个无谓的破坏行为而言,都有更多数以千计更为微小的,包含着爱,友善和同情的举动静静地上演着。相对于每一个试图伤害他人的人而言,都有更多的人致力于帮助他人,治愈他人的创伤。生命的美好不能否认。在最为壮观的前景和最为琐碎的细节中,请仔细观察,因为美好的事物总是散发着耀眼的光芒闪亮登场。生命的美好没有界限。每一次相遇都会使这美好变得越发丰富。你经历得越多,越能欣赏生命的美好,生命中的美好就会变得越多。即使当寒风袭来,整个世界似乎被雾气掩盖之时,生命的美好仍会存在。睁开双眼,打开心扉,你就会发现这美好无处不在。尽管生命的美好有时似乎遭受挫折,但它总会挺过来。因为,在最黑暗的时刻,有一点变得格外清楚,那就是,生命是无价的财富。因此,下正是与生命的美好相对立的事物使其越发强大。无数次地,当你担心这美好已经远离之时,你会发现生命的美好其实只与你相隔须臾。它就在下一角落,存在于每个时刻之间,等着给你惊喜。花些时间让生命的美好感动自己的灵魂,放松自己的思绪。然后,把你的幸运与他人分享。因为生命的美好会在每次给予之间变得越来越壮观。尽管总是有问题让你去关注,冲突也似乎愈演愈烈,但生命的美好却总是静静地,平和地,带着比以往更强的意志和更多的价值变得更加强大。篇三:英语演讲小短文 the life i desired 我所追求的生活
威廉.萨姆塞特.毛姆/william somerset maugham that must be the story of innumerable couples, and the pattern of life of life it offers has a homely grace.it reminds you of a placid rivulet, meandering smoothly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it falls into the vastly sea;but the sea is so calm, so silent, so indifferent, that you are troubled suddenly by a vague uneasiness.perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature, strong in me even in those days, that i felt in such an existence, the share of the great majority, something amiss.i recognized its social value.i saw its ordered happiness, but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.there seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights.in my heart was desire to live more dangerously.i was not unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous, shoals it i could only have change-change and the excitement of unforeseen.静的溪流,蜿蜒畅游过绿茵的草场,浓荫遮蔽,最后注入烟波浩渺的汪洋大海;但是大海太
过平静,太过沉默,太过不动声色,你会突然感到莫名的不安。也许这只是我自己的一种怪
诞想法,在那样的时代,这想法对我影响很深:我觉得这像大多数人一样的生活,似乎欠缺
了一点儿什么。我承认这种生活有社会价值,我也看到了它那井然有序的幸福,但我血液里
的冲动却渴望一种更桀骜不驯的旅程.这样的安逸中好像有一种叫我惊惧不安的东西.我的
心渴望一种更加惊险的生活。只要生活中还能有变迁———以及不可知的刺激,我愿意踏上
怪石嶙峋的山崖,奔赴暗礁满布的海滩 just a little bit more(再努力一点点)lots of people lose hope at the so-called 11th hour1.in sports terms, we say that they lose life, but the truth is they can.很多人在最后关头丧失了希望。在体育领域这个词是指人们在靠近终点线的前一刻放弃了
希望。他们认为自己无法赢得生活的精彩,但事实上,他们可以。the 11th hour is the point when most people feel the pain.it is an important moment that and succeed.those who don’t put in extra effort leave the race with nothing.all they need to win the race is a little extra effort at that last point.this is the difference between winners and losers.大多数人往往在最后关头会感到痛苦。但这是一个决定你能否成功的关键时刻。成为冠军
的人往往会再加一把劲儿从而最终成为胜利者。而那些没有坚持到最后的人却一无所获地离
开赛场。其实他们获得成功只需要在最后时刻再付出那么一点点努力。这就是胜者与败者的
区别。
i know you have the ability to be a champion.the race will not be easy, but it can be won.you need to put in extra effort when trying to achieve your goal.just do a little bit more.this is what will separate you from others who seek to be where you are.when you want to give up or slow down because you feel tired, try to keep on going until you reach the finishing line.you can do it because you still have strength within you.我相信你有能力成为冠军。比赛是不轻松,但你同样可以赢得胜利。为了达成目标你需要不
懈努力。再多付出一点点。而这将把你与其他人区分开,这将决定你是否能成为冠军。当你
因为疲惫而想到放弃或减速慢行的时候,试着再努力一次,努力坚持到终点线。你可以做到, 因为你自身拥有强大的力量。
it’s a new day今天又是新的一天
yes, it’s a new day, it’s a different day, and it’s a bright day!in your mind, you can see clearly the things you want to have, the places you intend to go, the relationships1 you desire to develop and the positions you aspire to reach.是的,今天是新的一天,今天是与众不同的一天,今天是阳光明媚的一天。在你心里,你梦寐以求的东西,你渴望到达的地方,你想要发展的关系,你渴望得到的职位,都清晰可见。
你知道,只要你有信心、有激情,肯下决心,所有这些都能实现。此刻你充满信心,满怀激情,跃跃欲试吗?永远都不要放弃对美好的追求。
因为你是最棒的,而且你应该是最棒的!作为你的朋友,我敢肯定,通向所有美好事物的门都会向你打开,然而开启这扇门的钥匙却把握在你的手中。你必须尽职尽责,忠实履行自己的计划,并将它们付诸行动。不要退缩,不要恐惧。
i know you must do it, you can do it, you will do it and you will succeed!now stand firm and tall, get excited and shout it out: i must do it!i can do it!i will do it!i will succeed!我知道你必须、应该,也一定会这样做而且你一定会成功!坚定而自信地站起来,用激扬的声音告诉所有人:我必须成功!我能成功!我一定会成功!
我是我自己的阳光i am my sunshine it’s all right to believe that someone brings sunshine into your life.that someone might have enough to spread around.but, if you really have to wait for someone else to be your sunshine, your good feelings, then you might wait for a long time.相信会有一个人把阳光带进你的生活中是可以的。那个人也许会有足够的东西去四处传播。但是,如果你真的要等别人带给你阳光,带给你美好的感受,那你也许要等上很长的时间。
现在是时候欢呼了,就在这一刻。不要等待别人来左右你的情绪。你可以完全控制你的性情。你有这个选择。没有其他别的办法。
你这一刻的欢呼会带你走到下一刻,你也将会把握住那一刻。你值得拥有美好的事物。去争取吧!
追随你的梦想 follow your dream though barriers may sometimes stand in the way of your dreams, discourage you.value your capabilities and talents for they are what make you truly unique.the greatest gifts in life are not purchased, but acquired through hard work and determination.追随能够改变你命运的那颗星,那颗永远在你心中闪烁的明星。当它在你面前闪耀时,抓住这宝贵的机会。请谨记,只要你坚持不懈,最终的目标总能实现。
尽管实现梦想的途中有时会遇到障碍,要知道这是命运对你的挑战。不是每个人都会赞成你的选择,接受这个现实,并相信自我的判断,追随那颗在你心中闪烁的明星,它会引领你踏上命运的征途。坚持不懈,你就能享受那些幸福时刻。
A dog and a sow1 were arguing and each claimed that its own young ones were finer than those of any other animal. “Well,” said the sow at last, “mine can see, at any rate, when they come into the world: but yours are born blind.”
狗和母猪争辩,都说自己的孩子更加出色。“嗯,”母猪最后说,“至少我的孩子一生下来就能看见东西,你的孩子生下来确是个瞎子!”
Look for the beauty around you, in nature, in others, in yourself, duanwenw.com and believe in the love of friends, family, and humankind2. You can find love in a smile or a helping hand, in a thoughtful gesture or a kind word. It is all around, if you just look for it.
Give love, foringiving it you will find the power in life along with joy, happiness, patience and understanding. Believe in the goodness4 of others and re-member that anger and depression can be countered by love and hope.
Even when you feel as though there isn’t a lot you can do to change unhappiness or problems, you can always do a little —and a little at a time eventually makes a big difference.
时间是最公平的,活一天就拥有24小时,差别只是珍惜。你若不相信努力和时光,时光一定第一个辜负你。有梦想就立刻行动,因为现在过的每一天,都是余生中最年轻的一天。共勉,早安!
努力本就是年轻人应有的状态,是件充实且美好的事,可一旦有了表演的成分,就会显得廉价,努力,不该是为了朋友圈多获得几个赞,不该是每次长篇赘述后的自我感动,它是一件平凡而自然而然的事,最佳的努力不过是:但行好事,莫问前程。愿努力,成就更好的你!
“一定要成功”这种内在的推动力是我们生命中最神奇最有趣的东西。一个人要做成大事,绝不能缺少这种力量,因为这种力量能够驱动人不停地提高自己的能力。一个人只有先在心里肯定自己,相信自己,才能成就自己!
这世上没有所谓的天才,也没有不劳而获的回报,你所看到的每个光鲜人物,其背后都付出了令人震惊的努力。请相信,你的潜力还远远没有爆发出来,不要给自己的人生设限,你自以为的极限,只是别人的起点。写给渴望突破瓶颈、实现快速跨越的你。
生活中,有人给予帮助,那是幸运,没人给予帮助,那是命运。我们要学会在幸运青睐自己的时候学会感恩,在命运磨练自己的时候学会坚韧。这既是对自己的尊重,也是对自己的负责。
每天晚上疲劳的睡在床上时,才感觉真真切切地过了一天。人生最重要的不仅是努力,还有方向。压力不是有人比你努力,而是比你牛叉几倍的人依然比你努力。即使看不到未来,即使看不到希望,也依然相信,自己错不了,自己选的人生错不了。第二天叫醒我的不是闹钟,其实,还是梦想!
西游记告诉你:你是谁?
唐僧的优点——无论失败多少次,都不会想着要放弃,死也不会。孙悟空的优点——无论面对多少困难,总会有解决方案,永远都有。猪八戒的优点——就算有怨言,也要开开心心的跟着大部队走到底。沙和尚的优点——绝对服从,不管能力如何都会全力以赴。白龙马的优点——关键时刻显真身,藏锋于内,雪中送炭的不二人选。你是谁呢?找准自己的定位非常重要!什么是奋斗?
奋斗就是每一天很难,可一年一年却越来越容易。不奋斗就是每天都很容易,可一年一年越来越难。
任何一件事情,只要心甘情愿,总是能够变得简单; 任何一个常人,只要足够努力,也总是能变得优秀。
会飞的鸭子
有两只相貌丑陋的小鸭子在芦苇塘边,其中一只黑鸭子不停地振翅欲飞。它飞起来又跌下来,摔得遍体鳞伤。白鸭子说:“别飞了,我们是鸭子。”
有一天,黑鸭子终于翱翔于天空,而白鸭子的翅膀则早已萎缩了。白鸭子对同类说:“你们看,那只能飞的鸭子是我的伙伴。”
同类们大笑:“你疯了,那是只黑天鹅。”
启示:生活总是给执着的人提供努力的空间。坚持不懈,永不停息的人往往是最后的成功者。
豪猪距离
一群豪猪在一个寒冷的冬天挤在一起取暖。但是,他们的刺毛开始互相击刺,于是不得不分散开。
可是寒冷又把它们驱在一起,于是同样的事又发生了。最后,经过几番的聚散,他们发现最好是彼此保持适当的距离。
启示:人与 人之间的关系就是这么微妙,既不能太亲密,又不能太疏远;既要相互依赖,又要保持各自的相对独立性;既要会合作,又要会相互分工。
犹太人名言
这世上有三样东西是别人抢不走的: 一是吃进胃里的食物,二是藏在心中的梦想,三是读进大脑的书。
温馨启示
1.稍微一亲近就口无遮拦的毛病必须改。2.多把“你听懂了没”换成“我讲明白了没”。
3.别人给你发消息一定要回,就算不想聊也可以告诉他,哪怕是用表情或者标点来委婉的表达,不回消息不是高冷,是没教养。
如果有人问我:那些艰难的岁月你是怎么熬过来的?我想我只有一句话回答:我有一种强大的精神力量支撑着我,这种力量的名字叫“想死又不敢”,就靠这句话,我活到了现在。
无论是工作还是生活,都不要拿脾气当作你与他人博弈的武器。所谓的脾气差,其实只能说明你自私又无能。你需要做的,是趁年轻不断修炼、学习,这才是你最终能跟世界“叫板”的底气。
上天不会给谁太多年华和机会,人生最可贵的品格,就是本分自然地生活,踏踏实实地做事儿,兢兢业业地工作,诚诚实实地交友,心底坦荡地为人。因此,无论我们处在人生的哪一个阶段,都必须怀有一颗感恩戴德的心,努力走好人生的每一段,努力经营好每一段过往。
真正的努力,不是比谁花的时间更多,谁把自己虐得更惨,而是找到合适的方法,抛下杂念,全身心地投入去做一件事情。骗别人很容易,骗自己更容易,但是要骗这个世界真的有点难,你所亏欠的,终有一天会连本带利还回来。共勉,早安!
命运掌握在自己手中,比如快乐,你不快乐,谁会同情你的悲伤;比如坚强,你不坚强,谁会怜悯你的懦弱;比如努力,你不努力,谁会陪你原地停留;比如珍惜,你不珍惜,谁会和你挥霍青春。
《染发》
今天爸爸在家自己染头。
我就问他:“爸,你都快60了还染头发干嘛啊,还想勾搭女人去啊?” 我爸说:“每次我回老家前都把头发染黑,那样你奶奶看见就会以为我还年轻,她也不老了。”
关心子女,照顾孙辈,但也别忘了在家里的老父母们!
《墙下》
一男生高中时沉迷网路,时常半夜翻墙出校上网。
一日他照例翻墙,翻到一半即拔足狂奔而归,面色古怪,问之不语。从此认真读书,不再上网,学校盛传他见鬼了。
后来他考上名校,昔日同学问及此事,他沉默良久说:“那天父亲来送生活费,父亲舍不得住旅馆,在墙下坐了一夜。”
There was once a farmer who had a fine olive(橄榄树) orchard(果园) . He was very hardworking, and the farm always prospered under his care. But he knew that his three sons despised(轻视,看不起) the farm work, and were eager to make wealth, trough adventure.
When the farmer was old, and felt that his time had come to die, he called the three sons to him and said, ”My sons, there is a pot of gold hidden in the olive orchard. Dig for it, if you wish it.“
The sons tried to get him to tell them in what part of the orchard the gold was hidden; but he would tell them nothing more.
After the farmer was dead, the sons went to work to find the pot of gold; since they did not know where the hiding-place was, they agreed to begin in a line, at one end of the orchard, and to dig until one of them should find the money.
They dug until they had turned up the soil from one end of the orchard to the other, round the tree-roots and between them. But no pot of gold was to be found. It seemed as if someone must have stolen it, or as if the farmer had been wandering(漫游,闲逛) in his wits. The three sons were bitterly disappointed to have all their work for nothing.
The next olive season, the olive trees in the orchard bore more fruit than they had ever given; when it was sold, it gave the sons a whole pot of gold.
And when they saw how much money had come from the orchard, they suddenly understood what the wise father had meant when he said, ”There is gold hidden in the orchard. Dig for it, if you wish it.“
从前有一个农民,他有一座漂亮的橄榄园。他非常勤劳,而且农场在他的照管下蒸蒸日上。可他知道自己的三个儿子瞧不起农活,都迫不及待的想通过冒险发家致富。
这个农民上了年岁,感到死期快要来临时,将三个儿子叫到身边说:“儿子们,橄榄园里藏有一罐金子。你们想要,就去挖吧。”
儿子们想让父亲告诉他们金子藏在果园的那一块地方,可他什么也没再给他们说。
那个农民死后,三个儿子就开始挖地,想找到那罐金子;因为他们不知道金子藏在什么地方,所以他们一致同意排成一行从果园的一头开始挖起,知道其中一人挖到金子为止.
他们挖啊挖,从果园的一头一直挖到了另一头,果树周围和果树之间也都挖到了,可还是没有找到那罐金子。看来一定是有人已经把那罐金子头走了,要么就是他们的父亲一直在异想天开。三个儿子对他们白干了一场,感到大失所望。
到了第二年的橄榄季节,果园里的橄榄树接出的果子比以往的都多;卖完果子后,三个儿子赚了整整一罐金子。
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下:
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, “Gigantic Sale!” and “Super Bargains!”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, “Prices Slashed!” and “Fantastic Discounts!”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, “ENTRANCE”.中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army.Joan Phillips was one of them.She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance.He said to her, “I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron, “I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.”
“Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here,” the matron said.“Oh, that‘s all right,” answered Joan.“I‘m his sister.”
“I‘m very pleased to meet you,” the matron said, “I‘m his mother!”
在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作,当然遇到了许多男士,包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说,“我明天就要出国,但如果我们能够相互写信,我会很高兴。”琼同意了,于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来,他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信,告诉她,他受伤了,住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院,她对护士长说,“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢,是的,”琼说,“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你,”护士长说,“我是他的母亲。”
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp.The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill.George said, “have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?”
Bill said, “Yes, I have,” and he gave them to him.Then George said, “Now I haven‘t got a pen.” Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.Then he put it in the envelope and said, “have you got a stamp, Bill?” Bill gave him one.Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, “Are you going out?”
Bill Said, “Yes, I am,” and he opened the door.George said, “Please put my letter in the box in the office, and...” He stopped.“What do you want now?” Bill said to him.George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, “What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?”
军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。乔治问:“比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说:“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说:“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里,又问:“比尔,你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。乔治问:“你要出去吗?”
比尔说:“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说:“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说:“你女朋友的地址是-?”
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18.So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too.This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.“How old are you?” he said.“Eighteen, sir,” said John.“But your brother was eighteen, too,” said the doctor.“Are you twins?”
“Oh, no, sir,” said John, and his face went red.“My brother is five months older than I am.”
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八,长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。”
West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College.Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms.Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, “to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point.”
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture.They explained, “We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point.”
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前,我们到处转了转,碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道,如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员,问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说:“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
(6)Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend.“Shall I engrave her name on it?” the jeweler asked.The customer thought for a moment, and then said, “No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘.That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again.”
送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里,一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿,然后说道:“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样,如果我们闹崩了,我还可以再用到它。”
Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.The wife wanted to travel around the world.The fairy waved her hand, and Boom!She had the tickets in her hand.Next, it was the husband‘s turn.He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom!He was ninety.慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻,害羞地说,“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”,他变成了90岁。
Wood Fire
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal.“Husbands are like wood fires;they go out if left unattened.”
“Does that mean,” asked the other, “that they make ashes of themselves?”
森林之火
一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性:“丈夫们就像是森林里的火,一不注意,他们就会燃烧起来。”
“那是不是意味着,”另一个问道,“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”
Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard.He was rescued by a deck hand.The officer asked how he could reward him.“The best way, sir,” said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it.If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in.”
最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
Napoleon Was Ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university.However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.“He‘s a good boy,” said Jack‘s father, “and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“No, no, that‘s quite impossible,” replied the professor immediately.“Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!”
“Please, sir, give him another chance,” said Jack‘s father.“You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.”
拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说:“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说:“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
He Was Only Wrong by Two
Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination.“Well,” the dean said after some persuasion, “I‘d better ask him a few questions first.”
Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.At last the dean said, “Well, what‘s five times seven?”
The student thought for a long time and then answered, “Thirty-six.”
The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, “Oh, please let him in, sir!He was only wrong by two.”
他的得数只比正确答案多二
杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练,他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行,院方不愿录取。
有一天,教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长,希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
然后他转向学生,问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
最后院长说:“那么,五乘七得多少?”
学生想了很久,然后回答说:“三十六。”
院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说,“噢,录取他吧,先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”
Real Play
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater‘s current production and write a critique.After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: “The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.”
逼真的戏剧
我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时,要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出,并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后,一名学生写道:“这部戏剧是如此逼真,以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上,从电视上看到的。”
A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor.She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops.There she bought a mousetrap.The shopkeeper said to her, “Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.”
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it.She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful!When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
势均力敌
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠,所以她冲出屋子,搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿,她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她:“放点奶酪在里面,很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”
这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里,但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去,因为已经很晚了。于是,她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。
令人称奇的是,这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上,这位女士下楼到厨房时,发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片!
Gardening Gloves
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold.On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions.I held my hands up and said, “Well, you‘ll notice that my hands are bare.”
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm.“Happy birthday,” he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.园艺手套
几个月以来,我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指,因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天,我正在干园艺活时,丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说:“嗯,你肯定看到了,我的两手都是光光的。”
那天晚上,我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看:里面包着一双园艺手套。
Warning
Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him.I was careful to call him a few days in advance to “warn” him that we would be coming.When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room.“Forgot we were coming, didn‘t you?” I teased.“Are you kidding?” he replied, “Why else would I have bothered to clean?”
提醒
我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生,开学几个星期之后,我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话,“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时,他的房间凌乱不堪,我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来,是吧?”我取笑他。
“开什么玩笑?“,他回答说,“要不我凭什么费神打扫?”
Ground Rules
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor.Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, “Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don‘t mind if you look at your watches during class.I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they‘re still running.”
基本原则
位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师,他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时,他说:“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味,了无生趣,所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。” 推荐阅读:
简单英语小笑话带翻译
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Self-made, self-taught, the candle maker’s son gave light to all the world; the street bookseller set all men singing of liberty; the apprentice became the most sought after man across the world, and brought his native land to praise and honor him.
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